Well, it's been a few days since Dara, Bob, Paul and Autumn returned to the states, and life is adjusting back to normal just in time to be done with classes. This coming week will be the last for two of ours (three for Yvana!), which leaves us the rest of April to work on research. But returning to our friends, it was sad to see them go, especially since we looked forward to them coming up so much and the time passed so quickly...

It just seemed like a lot of things have been happening in the past few weeks that have been impossible to explain, even face to face with my wife, and I suppose now heading into paper season it will get no better. The closest thing I can liken it to is an identity crisis, but I don't think that completely captures what I hope to describe. I have simply been confronting a lot of aspects in my professional work that I just can't grasp: the technical, analytical, syllogistic philosophy that seems so integral to this discipline. This realization reminded me why I studied what I did in undergrad; history and literature are storied subjects. It is my hope, then, that I can get some help from people to figure out a way to see the storied nature of philosophy as integral to philosophy itself- that the message is in the medium( I’m finding Paul Ricoeur to be a tremendous help in applying some philosophical leverage in that respect), and, most importantly, that at the end of the day the ultimate medium is in life itself.

So what does all this have to do with our recently visiting buddies? Well, I can't make it clear abstractly, so let me give you a brief sketch. I was dealing with my own inadequacies professionally and personally, when I said something to my wife that should never have been said. It hurt her, it hurt the people I said it in front of, and it hurt the love relationship between all involved. So I guess this is a belated confession and apology (in the many senses of the words) to all the people I love, whether victims of this instance of my own hatred or others. Anyone who might be reading this probably has some painful memories of how I shamefully treated them, but space won't allow, and the time cannot be found to make things right. Know, however, that I constantly remember them (even if you don't think I do) as I do the best I can to make my life the medium for my philosophy. -M